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  Firefly: Still Flyin'

 

Firefly Adventures

  The Story Continues...

The adventures of our favourite firefly crew pick up after their encounter in space with bounty hunter Jubal Early...

 

Although River got the better of Jubal which seemed to show she’d calmed some, her fits continued to worsen.

Simon located a safe moon, well off the beaten path but sufficiently provisioned to host River and himself. His hope was a period of quiet would help him better attempt to stabilize his sister’s troubled mind.

Mal promised to check in on his doctor and his favourite psychic in a few months. Reluctantly, the crew of Serenity said goodbye to the Tams.

 

Inara left too. As she’d told Mal after Nandi’s death, she could no longer run her business in the midst of the emotional chaos that Mal’s operations engendered.

Mal didn’t understand.

“I was just trying to help you and your friend! Fine. Go! I can’t stop you.”

When the crew dropped Inara on Valentine, Inara’s mien was as calm and reassuring as ever. Everyone gathered on the dock to see her off. Kaylee cried. Inara touched Kaylee's face, wiped her tears away and said, “There, there, mei mei. It’s going to be OK.”

Mal didn’t speak. Inara didn’t speak to him either. They said goodbye to each other with their eyes.

Wash piped up, “We’ll miss you,” but Inara had already turned to go. She appeared the consummate gentlewoman as she walked away, but her companion training had all but abandoned her. No one could see it, but her eyes were moist too.

 

And just when you’d think things couldn’t get worse, just when the crew needed his help most, Book got a mysterious wave. He had a quiet conversation with Mal, and Mal ordered Wash to head to Osiris.

Wash asked Zoe what was up. Zoe said she didn’t know. Wash said, “I don’t entirely believe you.”

When they got to Osiris, Book appeared in the cargo bay with his duffle.

Kaylee ran to him. “Not you too,” she said.

“I’ll be back before you know it,” Book said in his kindest baritone. He hugged her, took a nod of support from Mal, and strode to a waiting Alliance bus.

 

The crew had fallen apart. They were now five. Kaylee moped. Wash and Zoe bickered.

Jayne said he didn’t understand all the fuss. “Bigger share for the rest us.”

Mal said, “Do your job Jayne and you’ll be paid same as always. That goes for everyone. Let’s get back to work.”

 

next episode...

 

Sharon and I had decided to play our first game of Firefly Adventures. Being fans of the show, we were excited about returning to the ’verse through this game. We’ve enjoyed playing Firefly: The Game for years for the same reason. In that game, you manoeuvre your own firefly through the ’Verse. In this game, you manoeuvre the show’s characters through jobs on the ground. Now we’d be able to play out events in the crew’s lives in even greater detail. Still flyin’!

We were also looking forward to playing a tactical skirmish game after having played a bunch of Gloomhaven. The character development and story arc in Gloomhaven propelled us to play more. For these reasons, love of the ’Verse and love of story, we decided to play a giant campaign of Firefly Adventures.

We had the two expansions for the game (I couldn’t not have assembled the whole crew of Serenity) so we had all 10 official scenarios for the game. We also had 7 more fan made jobs downloaded from the game’s publisher and BGG with promises of more to come. Lots to chew on. But we decided to start with the base game that includes only 5 characters. We needed to learn the game, and figured we’d walk before running.

But this presented a problem for our story. Where were Simon and River and Inara and Book? Sure, they could have sat out a job or two, but characters on the show were rarely absent for long. So we decided to design ‘mid-season departures’ for these characters such as the one foreshadowed for Inara in the second last episode of the series. Also, some of the expansion jobs were (logically) suited for play with these characters – perfect opportunities to unexpectedly run into those characters again when we get to those jobs.

June, 2020

---

Firefly Adventures

   Episode 15: The Rescue

The next job Mal took wasn’t a job at all. Monty was is trouble. It was Unification Day so that kind of went without sayin’.

He and Mal were working the same system and had arranged for a U-Day ‘drink’ this year. But when Mal waved him to confirm, he found out Monty had been taken hostage by some local boss he’d pissed off. His brown coat probably hadn’t helped.

Time to help an old friend. Everyone but Jayne was willing to help spring Monty.

“I like Monty and all, but I don’t see any money in it,” Jayne said.

 

Mal, Zoe, Wash and Kaylee wandered into town without any more intel than that Monty was there. He could have been in any one of ten buildings. Armed cowboys were stationed in front of five of them. The rest of the buildings appeared to be locked.

Mal did know that a local cortex terminal was in a building in the centre of town. Kaylee headed straight there to hack it for more info about Monty’s whereabouts. Mal prepared to sweet talk the guards for clues too.

 

Kaylee slipped into the terminal room easy as turnin' sideways. Easy as steppin' on a tack, she found a thug waiting for her there.

The thug came at her swinging a blade in each hand. One edge hit her arm. The other hit her trusty wrench. She'd pulled it from her belt reflexively, not so much to hit with as to cower behind. Did the trick tho'. The second knife slid harmlessly away, the thug lost his balance, and as he fell, he cracked his head on the edge of a crate and slid to the floor. Kaylee let him lie there a moment. He didn't move. Inside the crate she found a very fine hat. “Shiny.”

Then Kaylee set to hacking. “Ouch.” Her sore arm threw her off her game and she set off an ultra-sonic alarm. No intel for her. She quickly deactivated the alarm, hoping there were no dogs about.

 

Wash rattled a few locks but they needed some brute force and some picking to unlock, so he wandered on all casual-like looking for open doors to peek into.

A few buildings away, Zoe tried a lock and it was open. She stepped into the building and just like that found Monty. Talk about luck. She also found three thugs. Maybe not so lucky.

Zoe pulled out her mare’s leg and shot at the furthest thug to draw the group's attention away from poor Monty who they were about to set on. Sure enough, they came at her for a brawl but got more than they expected. Having gone all heroic she dealt with each in turn until they were all lying in a bloody heap. She took a couple wounds, but the goons were no match for her righteous fury.

 

Now Zoe had been in that building a while, and Mal had a hunch something was up. He moved over to it to find out what was going on. By the time he got into the doorway to see, she had finished.

“Guess, I’m not needed here,” Mal said more than half impressed. “Help Monty up and pass him out the door.”

Zoe had already unbound Monty. He was pretty beat up and he’d been drugged so he couldn’t move himself without help.

“Biggest sack of potatoes I ever seen,” Zoe would tell later when describing humpin’ Monty out of there.

 

Because all this commotion had gone on behind closed doors, the cowboys outsides were none the wiser of the rescue in progress. To keep it so, Zoe healed herself, straightened her vest and stepped outside as casual as you please. She swung the groggy Monty around her a few times to move him between buildings toward the landing pad where Serenity was parked. Just when she was out of breath, Mal would bark at her under his breath to do it again.

Wash went to the terminal room to let Kaylee know they had Monty and were movin’ to leave. He found her injured. It wasn’t bad but they both knew she couldn’t go outside in that state; that too would alert the cowboys sumpin’ was up. Wash was on the job. Since Simon had left, he always carried a med kit. He cleaned and sealed her wound, then went outside and took a turn huffing Monty toward the landing pad.

 

While Kaylee had been waiting for help, not really sure what to do with the thug’s body or the gash in her arm, she hacked the cortex twice more, and these times she successfully gathered intel for the crew and an extra five hundred credits.

After Wash patched her up, Kaylee strolled to the landing pad all slow and unconcerned. She whistled and kicked a little rock along, like she was enjoyin’ the day and not at all nervous. No one noticed that the girl who’d gone into the building without a hat was now carrying one.

Mal made his way to the pad last, busy as he was telling everyone else what to do.

It was a good day. Monty was safe. The rescue had gone so quickly the crew had been able to staunch his wounds promptly. They’d also hurt as few of the boss’ men as possible. Always a bonus to make as few enemies as possible.

 

Back on-board Serenity, Mal hugged Monty and Monty slurred, “Goat... Goat...”

Sure enough, inside the lining of his big brown coat were bundles of credits.

So that’s what all the fuss was about, Mal thought to himself. Monty had helped himself, got caught, but the boss couldn’t find his money. Stubborn Monty. He knew we’d come for him.

"Yes, my friend. You are a stubborn old goat," said Mal with a smile and a thump to the back, to which Monty smiled and winced in reply.

 

Monty had 9,800 credits on him. Gave Mal half. Mal divided it up among those as helped.

Jayne was not impressed. “If I’d a’ know’d...” he complained sorrowfully to himself.

“Better luck next time,” Wash consoled him smugly. “C’mon. I’ll buy you a drink. We’re flying to the far side of this rock and we’ll tell you all about it.”

 

next episode...

 

We chose to play ‘The Rescue’ as our first job based on a suggestion on BGG that it was a good learning scenario. Because we were playing a two-player game, Sharon and I took the advice of the rules and played 2 characters each. We drafted for them. Sharon looked at all the character abilities and chose Kaylee. Having read through the rules of ‘The Rescue’ we knew we’d need her skills to pull off the job. I took a long time grokking the actions of the remaining characters, then chose Mal. “Of course you chose Mal,” Sharon said. Sharon then chose Zoe and because I liked his style, I chose Wash. No Jayne for game one.

We got super lucky with the equipment deck and drew Kaylee’s wrench and Zoe’s carbine. We also drew guns for Mal and Wash. A med kit rounded out our ¢2000 budget. We gave the med kit to Wash.

We decided to favour stealth. This worked really well because the scenario places enemies primarily inside buildings where Zoe and Kaylee battled them without drawing more heat on us.

Heroic Zoe brawls like a badass. Because it was our first game we played against generic goons, again, as suggested by the rules. Zoe dispatched 3 thugs like a major league pitcher. Three up, three down. Brawling with Kaylee was tenser, but the dice favoured us, and she dispatched the thug on her while taking only 1 wound.

We finished the job very quickly thanks to luck. The second building we searched contained the hostage - a 1:9 chance. This made for a fat reward. We'd earned ¢5400 and 2 Intel tokens which set us up nicely for the next leg of the campaign.

Wow. This game tells stories! I made notes about the events in the game immediately after playing and this story wrote itself. With such specific, granular actions built into the game (e.g. opening crates, heaving bodies around) story details take care of themselves. Later, I made the hostage Monty. I knew we’d see him again in the series <wink/>.

We’ll play this scenario again down the line (with real goons), to rescue Simon or River and re-introduce them to the story.

June, 2020

---

Firefly Adventures

   Episode 16: Goose Juggling

“Cap’n, I think I found our next job,” said Kaylee walking into the galley.

“What does my favourite girl have for me today?” said Mal.

“Inara’s back?” cracked Wash turning in his chair.

Mal shot Wash a confused look as Kaylee continued excitedly, “Right here, on the same rock. Some of the intel I got while we was springing Monty says there’s an unrestricted cortex terminal ripe for the pickin’ two towns over. It’s guarded by a gang but I got the floor plans of their compound.”

“Criminal types?” said Mal, “Skimming off the magistrate? Well, I don’t see why they should be havin’ all the fun. Show me what you got, Kaylee.”

 

Turned out, the thugs were well organized. They knew they’d landed the goose that laid golden eggs. They were using the terminal to snoop on rivals, reduce their buddies' sentences, and skim credits. To protect their little pet, five of the gang patrolled their compound at all times. Jayne and Zoe sat stakeout for the better part of two days and brought the bad news back to Serenity.

“They’re pretty regular about their movements,” Zoe said. “But I think we can get past ’em if we time it right.”

“Five of them?” Wash said with a pointed lack of confidence in his voice. “And only fifty feet between each one? It’s gonna be like juggling geese."

Everyone stared at him blankly.

"Full grown ones," he continued emphatically. "Not fluffy little gozzers... they love it... flying around...” Wash mimed juggling, then he threw open his arms. “Man-sized geese, people! Five. Giant. Geese!”

The crew turned back to their planning. Washed sighed and threw up his hands but no one noticed.

“I can take one of the goons out of rotation,” said Kaylee, “I think I know everything about this sorry moon. Danny Dodge. His sister is inside the madge’s manor. We could blow her cover easy. I’ll send him a note suggestin’ he call in sick.”

Mal nodded.

“Danny Dodge. More like Dodgy Dan,” snickered Jayne. Then quite serious to Kaylee, “What’s his sister’s name?”

 

Their plan was coming together. They packed their gear and loaded their guns. Wash and Kaylee would do the hack. Zoe would be their bodyguard. Jayne and Mal would work the door into the compound. If they could keep the patrol outside, things would run smooth.

 

*     *     *

 

When they arrived at the gang’s end of town, they could only see two of the patrol. One was standing near the large door of the gang’s compound. Kaylee and Zoe put themselves between him and the door.

“What’s in here? Looks important.” Kaylee said in her sweetest voice.

“Can’t go in there, ma’am,” the thug replied firmly.

“Well, what if I do?” Kaylee flirted back.

“Gonna have to shoot you,” he said plain as fact.

“OK. You’re on the job.” Kaylee flattered. “Maybe I’ll swing by this way later when you’re done.” She turned away, then she turned back. “Say, if you’re in charge of security here, you might want to check out that guy over there. He was acting mighty suspicious when we passed him.”

Wash had positioned himself down the way in an alley. He was amusing himself juggling a few small rocks. When he noticed Kaylee and the guard looking at him, he smiled and waved at them and the rocks tumbled out of his hands to the ground.

“He does look suspicious,” the guard said and went to investigate.

 

While all that distractin’ had gone on, Mal had moved in to hornswoggle the second patrol. He had borrowed Kaylee’s new hat and one of Wash’s Hawaiian shirts to persuasive himself up. His sartorial splendour didn’t help him tho’. The guard ignored his first attempts at conversation. But then Mal spotted the grease under the tough’s fingernails and asked him for help with their mule.

“She’s been runnin’ rough and I can’t put my finger on it.”

“Sure, I’ll have a look,” said the guard and wandered off toward the parked vehicle.

This was just what they needed. Now there was no one to see Jayne misbehave.

 

When the first goon got to Wash, he confronted him.

“Little lady back there said you was up to no good. What do you have to say for yerself?”

Jayne stuck his head and shoulders out from around a nearby corner.

“She meant me, doofus.” Then he popped the guard twice in the face. The goon went limp.

Jayne said, “I love doin’ that. Don’t even raise me a sweat.”

Wash caught the goon as he slumped and swung him further up the alley. Then he took two steps over the body and lifted him again. He dropped him behind the building well out of sight of the patrol route.

 

A door slammed and a new goon appeared from between two buildings to the south of them. The grease monkey Mal had sent over to the mule starting walking back toward the compound. And a third goon emerged from the far door of the compound.

Mal gave a nod to Zoe. Zoe caught Wash’s eye. Time to move.

Wash started toward his sweetie. Well, she was Corporal-Honey-Sweetie at the moment, so he hopped to. Who was he kidding? On the job, off the job, he almost always hopped to her orders. He moved toward the compound door as quickly as he could without drawing attention to himself.

Zoe and Kaylee slipped into the compound. No goons in sight. Kaylee’s note to Danny must have worked. There were a few small rooms on the far side of the compound. They housed the cortex terminal and a safe, contents of which were also on today’s docket.

 

Outside, Jayne emerged from the alley and moved into the face of the goon closest to the compound. He planted his feet and crossed his arms. The goon backed up.

Mal took the opposite approach with his next mark. He sidled up to him and gave him the old, don’t I know you? The fellow seemed skeptical so Mal doubled down and put his arm around the fella. A little too much familiarity sometimes does the trick. This time it did anyway, and it came with a bonus. While Mal was inside his new friend’s personal space, he also ventured his fingers inside the thug’s vest and came away with two hundred credits. The goon was none the wiser that his pocket had been picked, but the whole affair so unnerved him that he walked away from Mal.

 

Inside the compound, Kaylee and Wash had made it into the room with the safe. They went straight there because Kaylee suspected that the cortex terminal was alarmed. Once they started hacking the terminal, it might only be a matter of time before the magistrate was alerted. The gang clearly knew the bypass code, but Kaylee didn’t. They’d have to race the clock... but not before they cracked the safe.

Zoe hung back in the terminal room just in case the patrol made it through. Hurry up and wait, she thought to herself. Hurry up and wait.

The safe was electronic. That was lucky. With Wash’s help it was an easy hack for Kaylee. They found two large inside. Wash stuffed the cash into his vest, they closed the safe back up, and headed back to the terminal room.

 

In front of the compound, Jayne kept pushing goons back from the door. That man knew how to scowl. And Mal kept workin’ his duds. Having repeatedly blocked the patrols, there were now three goons trying to get to the compound. But Mal was on fire. The bullshit he was slinging was truly inspired. He had thugs fetching things for him from the mule, and looking for things he said he’d dropped way around back of a far building.

All this bought the team in the compound the quiet they needed to work. Kaylee was surprised that the security on the link had increased since they’d arrived. No matter. It was still well within her capacities. She hacked the terminal easily, and while she was cooling her digits, Wash hacked it too. Kaylee told him what sequence to use, but as Wash would later point out, he was the one who entered it.

 

Zoe called it. It was time to get back to the mule. She went first. Wash followed. On her way through the compound, Zoe poked her head in a crate and added another five hundred credits to their haul.

Kaylee couldn’t resist. She hung back and hacked the terminal one last time.

 

Outside, the goons were scarce so Mal investigated the door of a nearby building. It had one of those combination locks you could finesse open with a swift tug. Didn’t work. Mal tried it again and jammed his knuckles on the door knob.

“Leng xue za zhong,” he cursed.

Jayne came over and gave the lock a try. “What’s the problem? Barely touched it and it fell open.”

“I loosened it for you,” Mal replied rubbing his knuckles. Then he disappeared into the building. In the back room he found a stash. Five hundred credits. His knuckles started hurting less.

 

Kaylee finally turned away from the cortex terminal and started after the others. Zoe and Wash were already at the compound door. Zoe stepped outside and immediately went all casual-like. Wash did the same.

But before he stepped out, Wash turned and called softly for Kaylee.

“Coming!” he heard her reply from deep inside the compound. “I got us two more juicy bits of intel. That makes six in all!”

But Wash didn’t hear that last bit because just then a loud klaxon began to sound inside the compound and out. Five angry cowboys strode onto the grounds from beyond the mule.

“Zhen dao mei,” sighed Wash.

 

*     *     *

 

The arrival of the magistrate’s men damaged everyone’s calm.

 

The gullible thugs Mal and Jayne had been pushing around were now at the compound door. Zoe stepped back into the warehouse. She knew that would make her a target but she had to check on Kaylee. Kaylee was there. She’d almost made it to the door.

 

Jayne couldn’t keep his cool anymore. He pulled out his cavalry revolver, shot the thug closest to him, then strode over to him and slashed him with his knife. That punk was down.

The thug at the warehouse door started hitting on Zoe. She dispatched him in short order.

The last thug standing was standing beside Jayne. He attacked and they traded wounds.

There were two bodies on the ground. From down the way, a new thug came running.

 

Then the cowboys started shooting. They all moved toward Jayne. Three of them got shots off but only one hit Jayne. Winged him.

Zoe told Kaylee to follow her. She dashed into the fray. Kaylee put her head down and ran past Zoe towards the mule.

Mal stepped out of the building he’d been searching to find all hell had broke loose. As usual it seemed to be all about Jayne. He wanted to scold the lummox but just couldn’t the man looked like he was having so much fun.

Instead, Mal kept his cool and started moving to the mule himself. He saw Kaylee lose her nerve in the middle of the chaos and nodded at her to keep running. She was almost at the mule but was right to be scared. The goons had seen her emerge from the compound. They had her number. She was the girl with their loot.

 

Somehow Mal and Wash were flyin’ under the cowboys’ radar. Wash caught Zoe’s eye and tried to hearten her. This let her catch her breath a little. She moved next to the mule and put herself between Kaylee and the mob. Jayne also moved closer to the mule as he slung lead at the cowboys.

The cowboys shot again. Zoe was hit twice. Jayne thrice. Jayne dropped to the ground.

Two new thugs appeared. One went for Zoe. She sent him to his maker. The other fell on Kaylee. Kaylee pulled out her wrench and wounded him hard.

Chuffed, Kaylee pulled out her med kit and healed Zoe, then climbed into the mule.

Jayne was just close enough to the mule to drag himself onto it.

 

Mal strode to the mule without taking his eyes off the battle swirling around him. He took stock of his people and theirs. His hand was on his gun but he kept it holstered. Instead of shooting he hopped into the back of the mule beside Jayne. Everyone was in the getaway but two.

“Wash!” he shouted. “Come on Zoe. There’s more coming!”

“Just a moment Cap’n,” Zoe said deliberately.

Mal smiled to himself. That was her war voice.

Zoe was full mad now. She reached behind her, pulled a grenade from her belt and threw it into the middle of the swarm of cowboys and gang members. Nothing happened.

“Wait for it,” said Jayne pulling the flaps of his cunning toque tight over his ears.

Boom. It finally went off. Five of their assailants fell to the ground. Zoe took some shrapnel too.

 

Zoe wasn’t done, though. She raised her carbine and shot at one of the remaining two cowboys. Blew his jaw right off with double heroics.

Wash shouted to the worlds, “That’s my wife!” as Zoe climbed onto the front rack of the mule.

Unfortunately, Zoe’s histrionics gave more time to the gang. Two more of them appeared beside the mule and both attacked the leader of this rival gang, the warrior woman who’d just levelled their place. Zoe took a flurry of hits and collapsed.

This snapped Wash out of his spectatin’. All this time, he’d been sidestepping cowboys and wincing at the carnage from a dozen feet back. Everyone on the mule was now staring at him with weary incredulity. Mal, Kaylee and Zoe were all waving and nodding him over furiously. The mule needed its driver. More thugs were sure to arrive.

Wash put himself into high gear, leapt into the mule, and drove them away to safety.

 

next episode...

 

For our second game we threw Jayne into the mix. Sharon and I play a lot of Pandemic so we’re used to making game decisions together, by which I mean hashing out our very different strategic takes on things, “I’m sorry, we HAVE to let that city blow up if we have any hope at all of finding a cure...”

This is what we found ourselves doing in game one of Adventures (making collective decisions —not letting cities succumb to disease), so it was easy for us to play an odd number of characters. We were still principal over the same two characters as before, and each of us moved those figurines on the map once we’d decided on actions, but we took turns moving Jayne.

Time will tell, but it seems the job scenarios for this game are very well thought out. Each appears to be a puzzle that begs to be solved twice. Once in a pre-game planning session, and then for real through the playing, kinda like an Ocean’s-X heist movie, which is fitting because Mal and his crew are often pulling a heist themselves.

The Patrol and Alarm mechanics in this scenario worked perfectly. The first was a great puzzle to solve. The second created so much drama. The whole mission played out just like a good three act episode should.

While we were playing, it didn’t feel right keeping Mal casual after the shooting started but we needed his Move Another Crew action to get everyone to the final objective, the mule. However, when writing up the events of the job, this choice yielded the wartime flashback that he and Zoe experienced (which is one of my favourite bits of the story).

Sharon was a little bored that Zoe wasn’t doing more in the first half of the mission. She was having to take lots of Wait actions for Zoe while the other characters guarded the door and hacked for loot. But at the climax of the job, right when things looked lost because so many goons were upon us, Sharon looked up from the table and said, “Hey, I have these grenades. Should I use them now?” Sharon/Zoe saved the day!

That, and Jayne's hat when Sharon rolled a 1 for the grenade throw.

We’re getting to know the game, but we still muffed some bits. We didn’t pay attention to line-of-sight through the large door to the compound, and we forgot that you can’t take the Act Casual action while goons can see you. Things to remember for next time. We also missed rolling the Event at 30t. The Alarm token was on that spot on the Timeline and that distracted us. There’s lots of fiddly bits in this game, but we’ll get there.

June, 2020

---

Firefly Adventures

   Episode 17: Special Delivery

“Sure wish the doc were here to patch me up,” grizzled Jayne from the infirmary.

“Shush, you big baby,” said Zoe adjusting her bandages. She was standing in the infirmary door having just disinfected and sealed her wounds. Several slashes and one deep stab wound in her thigh. “We don’t need Simon’s help with the simple stuff. You and I’ve been digging bullets out of ourselves since long before we met that boy.”

“Got spoiled I guess.”

“You miss him. I can tell.”

“Me? And mister Sunday best? Pffst. Ain’t no missing him or his big words or his fancy hands. Pass me that extractor. Left my knife in my bunk.”

Zoe raised an eyebrow, gave him the tool and then limped out of the infirmary. “Gotta see Mal ’bout what’s next,” she said as she left.

Jayne stuck the extractor into his bicep, fumbled with it and grimaced. “Gorram it,” he said to himself, “I do miss his fancy hands.”

 

“Sir,” Zoe commenced.

“No. No. No. You’re staying on board and that’s final. You and Jayne gotta heal. Captain’s orders.”

Zoe started to speak but Mal interrupted again, “Captain’s orders.”

“Yes sir.”

“We’re gonna be fine. We got a nice little job lined up. Simple delivery. No guns. No violence. Kaylee, Wash and I got it in hand.”

“But sir.”

“But nothin’. You and Jayne got banged up real good on that last job. You’re grounded. Don’t make me go get your husband.”

“OK sir. When do we land?”

“We? Get to your bunk. You need to get off your feet. I’ll send Kaylee by with a fresh bandage to redo that dressing. It’s,” he stumbled a little talking about another person’s fluids, “It’s leaking.”

Zoe left for her quarters. Mal cursed under his breath, “Where is my doctor?”

 

Mal walked onto the bridge and beheld a tangle of legs. Wash was sitting sideways in his pilot’s chair so he could reach buttons on the far right console with one hand, and toggle switches on the main console with his toes. His boots and socks were on the floor and his legs stretched over the left arm of the chair. Kaylee was above him, stuffed half into the ceiling wiring. Her legs dangled out of the panel she’d dismantled to get at something.

“Good. Now flip SB2 while pressing the coolant bypass,” Kaylee shouted to Wash. Her voice was muffled but audible.

Wash strained and managed the feat. “Got it,” he shouted back.

“Super,” said Kaylee. “Pass me up my spanner.”

“What’s going on here?” Mal asked. “Can I help?”

Wash pushed the edge of the flight console with his foot and spun his chair around to face Mal. While answering Mal, he fumbled around the console behind him with his lose hand. Kaylee’s arm was now dangling from the ceiling like her legs, and her fingers were wiggling impatiently.

“Just helpin’ Kaylee smooth a wrinkle, Mal. Aha!” he said. “Here ya go Kaylee,” he shouted over his shoulder, passing her his tyrannosaur without looking up. “I think we got it covered,” he said to Mal.

“OK then,” Mal replied. “When you two are done, come see me in the cargo bay.” He started to walk away, then turned. “Shouldn’t you be flying this thing instead of fixin’ it?”

“It’s shiny cap’n,” Kaylee shouted down. “Autopilot’s on, and I ain’t anywhere near it.”

Mal opened his mouth, paused, then left.

 

Mal lowered the mule from it’s parking spot high above the cargo bay. The tinkle of chains running through pulleys filled the big metal box with the pleasant music of work about to be done.

After their narrow escape from the Terminal Gang, Mal had scheduled some light work. The infiltration job had scored them a plethora of intel and goodies, but also an abundance of wounds. Zoe and Jayne were not fit for work for the next few weeks, so Mal took a job delivering a package on another dusty moon one system over. They were almost there.

Kaylee stepped onto the gangway that ran around the cargo bay and shouted down to Mal, “All fixed! The next Crazy Ivan we pull won’t rattle near as much as that last one,” she said with a smile.

“Nice,” said Mal.

Wash appeared behind Kaylee. He was still in bare feet.

“Come on down. Time to talk about our next job.”

“But there’s grime and broken sagey twigs and such all over the hold,” Wash complained.

Mal pointed at the broom in the corner. “Get the broom, or get your boots. I don’t care which. On second thought, get both.”

Wash rolled his eyes and disappeared. When he reappeared, his boots were on but his laces were stubbornly undone.

Kaylee said, “You’re gonna trip.”

“Not gonna happen. I’m nimble and lead a charmed life,” Wash said as he descended the metal stairs into the cargo bay. Like a girl in training at a companion madrasa, he held his gaze high and took dainty, deliberate steps down the stairs. At the first landing, he turned gracefully then stumbled and flew head first down the next set of stairs. As he fell, he reached out, grabbed the railing and slid along it while his feet clattering helplessly after him. They clanged against the stair treads until, at the bottom of the stairs, he swung himself around, got his legs back under him, and stood awkwardly like a gymnast who’d flubbed a landing.

“See. Nimble,” he declared with a delicate wave of his hand.

“Do up those laces and get over here,” Mal said shaking his head.

 

While Wash swept the floor of the cargo bay, Mal filled them in on the delivery job he’d taken.

“Our client is off world, but has arranged for his goods to be dropped off with us once we land. It’s a small package that belongs with someone at the local market. His wave was cuttin’ out so I didn’t gather all the particulars of the who, but I got enough info that we’ll be able to locate him by askin’ around once we get there.”

“Why don’t the fella droppin’ the package with us just run it over to the market hisself?” asked Kaylee.

“I got the sense that the locals aren’t lookin’ kindly on our client and his people at the moment. As usual, we’re being hired for our discretion.”

“Who is this guy?” asked Wash.

“Some poppy farmer from Ithendra.”

“Hmm,” said Wash. “The hard stuff.”

“Didn’t say.” Mal paused.

Wash knew that tone. End of discussion.

“Like I was sayin’,” Mal continued, “We’re gonna hafta put on our Sunday best and sweet talk the locals to find our contact. Someone called Fey. Or Bey. Or Tey.”

“Ooh. Market Day! Can I wear my frilly pink dress?” asked Kaylee.

“Not this time. I need my fix-it girl on this job.”

Kaylee’s expression collapsed into a small frown.

“The town’s water purifiers have been actin’ up. Farmer John suggested tuning ‘em up would curry us some favour, and he’ll throw in a bonus for the work too. Purifiers simple, aren’t they?”

“Ya, they’re simple,” Kaylee said glumly.

“We get the brown outta their water, I reckon they’ll get out of our way when we ask after Fey.”

“Or Bey, or Tey,” Wash reminded Mal.

“Or Shae,” added Kaylee. “Or Clay,” lightness returning to her voice.

“Jiējìn mùdì de. Wèi jiǎncè dào gǎngwù jú,” intoned Serenity softly. “Zhuólù shí xūyào shǒudòng cāozuò.” She paused briefly then repeated, “Approaching destination. No port authority detected. Manual override required for landing.”

“We’re here. Wash, the town is called Crimson. Or Stinson. Or something like that. Check the navmap.”

“Zhuólù shí xūyào shǒudòng cāozuò. Manual override required for landing.”

Wash and Kaylee climbed back up to the flight deck. As they did, Mal could hear them continue back and forth, “Or Ray. Or Trey. Or Milay. Or Charday...”

“After landing,” Mal shouted after them, “go get gussied up.” Then he added, “This is gonna be a simple one for a change.”

 

*     *     *

 

Mal climbed out of his bunk wearing his best pants. They were a bit tight. He shouted down into Kaylee’s room, “Kaylee can I borrow your hat?”

“Sure thing, cap’n,” she shouted up. Plop. The black bowler flew out of Kaylee’s ladder-well and landed on the deck at Mal’s feet. Up clambered Kaylee with her pouch over one shoulder. It was heavy with gear. Mal could see her universal encyclopedia on top of assorted plumbing parts. The wires of her improvised hacking rig dangled out of the bag.

“Just gotta run to the engine room and get my wrench,” Kaylee said.

Mal tucked his bonafide credentials into his shirt pocket and put on the hat. He was set to impress. A loud rustle made him turn. Wash emerged from his bunk like an umbrella being pushed out a gopher hole. Wash was wearing Kaylee’s hooped dress.

“No.”

“Come on. You gotta admit it looks great on me,” said Wash taking a twirl.

Wash was also wearing a wig of blond ringlets and a bit of rouge. Mal looked at Wash, mouth agape. Wash wiggled his shoulders and hips in opposite directions at the same time, then placed a gloved hand over his lips. He said in a high, thin voice, “Sir, can you point me in direction of a gentle man by the name of Fey? I am unfamiliar with these parts.”

Mal tried not to smile. “No.”

“You said get gussied up. If Kaylee can’t wear her dress, one of us should!”

“No.”

“I can pass! It’s actually a solid plan. You with your pants. Me with my dress. We’ll charm everyone we see. Especially. Me.”

Kaylee returned from the engine room. “See. I told ya you could pull it off!”

“I know, right? It’s a bit tight in the shoulders, but...”

“No tighter than Mal’s butt in those pants,” Kaylee said.

“Alright.” said Mal. “If you can fool the fella that brings us the package, you can go into town like that and you two can have your fun. But if he looks even a bit suspicious of the lady with the big shoulders, deal’s off.”

“Why sir, you are truly gallant.”

Jayne’s ladder slammed open with a clang. “Keep it down people. Recuperatin’ here! Gorram crew of rowdies.” Clang.

“Oops. I forgot about Jayne and Zoe,” said Kaylee quietly. “Jayne gets so cranky when he’s hurt.”

 

Wash swished the skirt of his dress slowly back and forth in the shade of Serenity. He fanned his face with a small, white fan. Serenity was parked at the edge of Winsome along with one other ship. It was hot. Still before noon. Wash was starting to reconsider his prank.

A boy of thirteen or so rode up to Serenity. When he saw Wash, he stopped well short and got off his horse. “Stay,” he said to the horse and tugged down on the reins to lower the horse’s head. There was a bit of dry grass there that the horse started nibbling.

The boy approached Wash shyly. “Ma’am? Is this Serenity?”

“Why yes it is. The very same,” said Wash in his new voice.

“Didn’t want to get your dress dusty,” the boy explained pointing to his horse ten steps away. “Is the captain here?”

“He is. I will fetch him.” Wash twirled and sashayed up Serenity’s ramp. The boy tried not to look but peeked at Wash’s bustle as it bobbed and swayed away.

“Captain Reynolds! Captain Reynolds! There is a young man here wants to speak with you.”

Mal emerged from the cargo bay and strode down the ramp. Kaylee hid in the shadows stifling giggles.

“I’m the captain. What can I do for you?”

“I’m to give you this,” said the boy loping to his horse to retrieve a cloth bundle the size of a stack of letters. It took him a moment to work the buckle on his saddlebag.

“Thank you,” said Mal. “We’ve been expecting this. And, what’s the fella’s name we’re to deliver it to?”

“Gosh if I know,” said the boy. “Dad just said run it down to the Firefly what’s landed.”

Wash had minced back down the ramp and joined Mal.

“Don’t give the boy a hard time Malcolm. He’s done his job well. And his daddy must be handsome, judging by his square jaw.” Turning to the boy Wash asked, “Is he as handsome as you?”

“My momma thinks so,” the boy blushed.

“If only I were as lucky as she,” Wash sighed looking back at Mal.

“Thank you for the parcel,” said Mal. “For your trouble,” he said handing him a nickel.

“Gee, thanks mister,” he said and ran to his horse. “Your wife sure is pretty,” he said as he hopped into his stirrups and rode away.

Kaylee emerged from the ship laughing.

Wash turned, stretched out his arms in embrace, and ran to Mal on tip toe. Mal stepped sideways at the last minute causing Wash to stumble.

“Let’s go to market,” Mal said with as stern a tone as he could muster.

 

*     *     *

 

The trio rode to town on the mule. Kaylee drove. Wash refused to share his parasol. Mal had the package tucked inside his coat. Wasn’t a day for coats, but the bundle was too big for his pants pocket. Heck, he could barely get a hand into his pants pocket.

Kaylee piped up, “I was looking at some of the intel from the warehouse job and, small ’verse, they supply this town. Any stall not sellin’ local goods won’t be staffed by our man.”

“I do like workin’ smart first and hard later,” said Mal. “Let’s case all the vendors when we get there.”

 

Four of the ten stalls had off-moon goods, an assortment of trinkets and some sad lookin’ lychees that were well past their prime. They were all at the south end of the market, so the gang started their enquires north.

Kaylee went straight to the north water purifier.

Wash sauntered over to the first cowboy he saw. He grabbed the top hoop of his skirt and straightened the lower half of his dress with a bounce.

“Good day kind sir,” Wash began in his most unctuous falsetto. “Could you point me to a certain gentleman that frequents this gathering? I believe he goes by Fey or some such moniker, although I may be mistaken.”

The cowboy leaned back and sized up the curious creature standing before him. Wash fanned himself furiously and smiled demurely.

“You ain’t no filly,” said the cowboy. “Just what’s goin’ on here?”

“Well I never!” exclaimed Wash with a squeal. “Husband dear,” Wash called to Mal at the next stall, “My honour has been called into question. I have been impugned!” His voice got higher the longer he talked.

“Get a load of this fēntáo, George,” the cowboy shouted in the same direction.

“Ya. A real peach, Pete,” replied the man with a snort.

 

Well, thought Mal, that rules out these two as our contact. George and Pete didn’t rhyme with Fey.

George, who was standing across from Mal over a display of cabbages and carrots, shouted to his left, “We got a trouble maker here, Sam.”

Sam stopped butchering the goat carcass he was preparing for sale, and looked in Wash’s direction. As he did, he picked up a second cleaver. He was down the way from Wash and Mal, but they both saw his reaction.

 

Wash gave up, sighed and squared his shoulders. In his normal voice he said, “You sir, are no gentleman.” Then he punched Pete in the face. He immediately regretted his own gallantry when his hand exploded in pain. Pete laughed. His jaw looked untouched.

“Mister, I don’t know what your problem is. I ain’t ever hit a lady, but today I make an exception.”

With lazy glee Pete wound up a counterpunch, but Wash was furious. Furious his day out had been ruined. Furious these folk were such ready bigots. Furious his fabulous style had held such little sway. He had convinced himself he was good. That he had a saloon act in the making. But no. He was just a guy in a dress. Ya. He was a guy in a dress! What’s wrong with that? When he bounced his skirt, a puff of air cooled his thighs. It was quite pleasant. How dare these three galoots laugh at him?

Such were the thoughts that went through Wash’s head as Pete’s fist moved toward him. Wash leaned and spun. His wide skirt gave him extraordinary balance. He looked like a top at full rev. As he spun he wrapped his arm around Pete’s, trapping and twisting it with a downward force. Pete’s right forearm snapped. His face contorted in surprise, pain and then anger. He punched again with his other arm. But Wash reversed his spin and repeated the same move. Pete’s left wrist went crack, and Pete fell back with a whimper.

 

‘What am I seeing?’ thought Mal. ‘What is happening? This was supposed to be an easy one! We're just dropping off a package!’

Bang. A gun went off behind Mal’s ear. Mal watched Wash spin a third time as he took a bullet in his side. There was now a small hole in the pink taffeta at Wash’s waist beside his elbow.

Bang. The cowboy behind Mal fired again, but the bullet hit the post beside Wash.

As Mal turned to face trigger happy George, he saw Sam start running, cleavers in hand, toward Wash.

Mal backed up a few steps while drawing his gun, then fired on George. Two quick shots to answer George’s two. Close as he was, both shots hit. George went down.

 

Kaylee, alarmed by the sudden gunfire, ran around the corner of the pump shack into view of the fracas.

“Back off, buddy!” she yelled at Sam. “You leave my friend alone!”

Confused, Sam stopped and backed up.

Kaylee then ran to Wash. “You’re hurt. Get in here,” she said ducking into the shelter of the market stall. She had to step over the unconscious body of Pete on her way in.

 

Shots fired on market day was not unheard of, but not a regular event either. People scattered, and all the other vendors came out of their stalls. Angry. They all moved toward Wash. Something about that pink dress.

 

Only one fella didn’t respond, the other worker from the butcher shop.

‘There’s our man,’ noted Mal. ‘He knows we’re due today. Probably trying to figure out how to get his package without revealing the delivery to everyone. And without getting shot.’

Bullets were flyin’ everywhere. A fella selling fruit shot halfway across the market at Wash and missed. Another selling bolos shot towards Wash but hit the fruit seller instead.

Wash picked the hem of his skirt off the ground and squeezed through the door in front of him. He looked at Kaylee apologetically. “There’s a hole in your dress,” he said.

“Not to worry. I’ll stitch it up later. Gotta stitch you up first,” she said getting out her med kit.

 

Mal ducked under the table of cabbages. Inside the stall he removed his coat and stuffed the package inside his shirt. He took a deep breath. “Just act casual. Take the package to the butchery and we’re done,” he said to himself.

 

Outside, another bullet went somewhere. Sam, the butcher, was now at Pete’s stall. He stepped inside and found Kaylee and Wash.

Again, Kaylee said in her most authoritative voice, “What are you doing? Get out!”

Again, Sam backed up, right out of the little shack. ‘Who is that little woman?’ he thought. ‘And why do I find her so compelling?’

Kaylee untied the hinged door above the stall table. Closed for business. As the door swung down, it pushed the row of pies on the table out onto the ground outside. Wash wiggled out of his pink frills. He had been wearing his Hawaiian shirt under the dress with a pair of similarly decorated boxers.

"You look like wallpaper," Kaylee said. "From a cheap hotel."

"Better that than a bullseye."

Kaylee bandaged his bullet wound and wrapped his hand. Wash relaxed. It sounded quiet outside. Wash moved to leave, but Kaylee whispered, “Your wig!”

Wash pulled it off and ran his fingers through his hair. Then he spit on his fingers and wiped his cheeks.

“Here let me. That ain’t workin’,” Kaylee said getting out her handkerchief. It was more of an oil rag, but it was clean. Kaylee always kept a clean rag in her pocket.

“Thanks.”

 

Wash stepped outside. People were dusting themselves off. Returning to their stalls.

“Where’d that guy come from?”

“Ever seen ’im before?”

“Never seen a dress like that for sure.”

“Hope I never do again.”

People chattered as they set things straight.

“Shame about Pete’s pies. I was gonna buy one.

“He makes the best pie in the system.”

People looked right through Wash. He held his sore hand and sighed.

 

Mal came out of George’s stall. People didn’t take note of him either. He walked over to the butchers’ stall and slapped the package on the counter.

Butcher number two stepped out of the back.

“Your name Fey?” Mal asked.

“Jay,” replied the butcher tentatively.

“Delivery for ya.”

next episode...

 

We played this mission twice. The first time through we flubbed a major rule and had goons return to their stations as soon as Wash was out of sight. Wrong. They wander home only after all characters have gone casual.

So we reset. A few years elapsed between games, but I’d made notes. We gave the characters the same gear; we stuck with the puchases made in the first game. The choice of goon positions which was random in the first game was randomized again (no notes on that), but this mattered little because the second time through we played with generic goons. We were rusty at playing the game, so we went back to intro rules.

Both games, we also spent 4 Intel tokens to remove 4 of the 10 Objective tokens from the game. Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em. We’d earned so many Intel tokens on the previous mission that it made sense to make this mission easier.

Because the mission is primarily about negotiation, we geared up Mal and Wash accordingly. With tight pants, hat and bonafide credentials, Mal had 4 Negotiate with a reroll and choice of tests. With aloha shirt and fluffy pink dress, Wash also had 4 Negotiate. Kaylee was tech’d up with her wrench, improvised hacking rig and universal encyclopedia for 5 Tech with an addition die and a test discard.

Giving Wash the fluffy pink dress seemed in keeping with his character. Sure, we could have (should have) given it to Kaylee, and she could have done some negotiating too. But we wanted to maximize by concentrating specialities. It would make for a great story. Wash is a natural ham. Of course he’d want to dress in drag.

In both games, Wash attempted the first Negotiation test. In both games, he rolled a 1. Best laid plans shot all to hell. What fun!

July, 2023

---

Firefly Adventures

   Episode 18: Questionable Objectives

Wash tiptoed into the galley. He went straight to the side and poured himself some tea. Mal was tucking into his dinner and didn’t look up. Kaylee and Zoe were sipping tea.

Wash turned to go, teacup in hand, and Mal raised his eyes into a stare. At Wash.

“Sorry,” Wash immediately said. “Sorry, sorry. I’m leaving. Sorry.”

“Oh honey,” Zoe said stifling a laugh, “you got shot. You don’t need to keep apologizing.”

“Yes, I do,” said Wash.

“Yes, he does,” said Mal between bites. “Serves ’im right.”

“It was my fault too,” said Kaylee. “I egged him on.”

“True. I’d accept another apology from you too.”

Kaylee looked both ways with wide eyes. She’d been trying to take some heat off Wash, not land herself in the hot seat again. She took a breath and lowered her voice and in the rhythm of the penitent said, “I’m sorry, I let Wash, wear my pink, frilly dress.”

“And...” said Mal.

“And let out, the waist, so he could, do up, the hooks.”

“And...”

“And gave him my old church gloves, and confirmation wig,” Kaylee finished.

“Thank you,” said Mal sternly.

“Oh Mal,” said Zoe, “It couldn’t have been that bad.”

“Never a job went south so quickly. I knew it was a bad idea from the start. Should never have indulged the kids. Let my funny bone get the better of me.”

“So you’re all to blame then,” said Zoe.

“No. Just Kaylee,” Mal paused and looked at Wash again, “and Wash.”

Wash grimaced in chagrin and turned again to go.

“What were you thinking, haulin’ off and punchin’ that guy?” Mal couldn’t keep it in.

Wash froze with his back to Mal and flinched a little.

“You were on the clock. We were doing a job. I’m dockin’ your pay. And you’re grounded. Both of you.”

Jayne walked into the galley past Wash. “You apologize some more?” he said in a low voice as he passed him. “Is he dockin’ your pay?”

Dang dong, the chime of a wave coming in sounded.

“Wave coming in. Gotta go,” said Wash moving out of the room as quickly as he could without making the stitch in his side twinge.

 

The whole crew crowded around the viewscreen on the bridge. A chill hush hung in the air.

“Play it again,” said Mal.

“Malcolm Raynelds. So good to see you. You to see me. Not expecting this face? No? It has been a while. I live. I breathe. I think of you. Think of nothing but Captain Malcolm Ray-nelds.” Adelei Niska’s sour face filled the viewscreen. “Don’t be afraid. I have message for you. Helpful message I think. Go to Dakhla. Something valuable there. To you I think, very valuable. Can say no more. Will say no more. I owe you much Captain Ray-nelds. Today...” Niska paused with an eager grin, “I give you this. Goodbye. Oh. I forget my manners. I already tell them you coming.”

“It’s a trap sir,” declared Zoe.

“He knows it’s a trap dear,” said Wash. “We all know it’s a trap.”

“What do think it is Mal? Lots of credits? I bet it’s lots of credits.”

“Why would Niska give us money, Jayne? Or anything else of value? We killed his crew and scuppered his operation,” said Zoe with disgust.

“We need money!” said Jayne. “He said valuable. Money’s valuable.”

“Zoe’s right. What’s that weasel up to? Blugh, I hate his face.” Kaylee shook her head like she’d sucked a lemon.

“Niska doesn’t do nothing without a purpose, that’s true,” said Mal. “But he doesn’t lie. There’s something there he knows we want. He’s also setting us up as payback for shooting up his skyplex. Lay in the coordinates he sent. We got some thinkin’ to do.”

 

Dakhla offered no clue. It was the seventh moon of Daedalus, the second gas giant in the Georgia system. Like most of the terraformed moons in border space, Dakhla was settled as soon as it was barely habitable, and it’s barely habitable still.

The coordinates Niska supplied were for a mining outpost. Remote as hell. It was a Blue Sun subsidiary, of course. The only folks there would be roughnecks. No families. Likely a bordello and company store close by. Not hard to knock over if planned right. But what could the outpost hold that Mal held dear?

Everyone but Jayne thought hard. Money or contraband weren’t it. Plenty of that around. Some item of blackmail? A crumb left from one of their less than legal jobs that could bring the Alliance down on them? Unlikely. Why would Niska give them a chance to recover such a thing instead of just cashing it in for himself? A bounty/revenge two-fer.

No. It had to be more precious. Somehow Niska must have heard that the crew of Serenity had been sundered. That some of Mal’s family were at large. Once taken under his wing, a crew member of Serenity became like family to Mal. Anyone with a keen eye could see that, and Niska’s beady eyes were two of the keenest.

For all Mal knew, Niska had been watching Serenity ever since they humiliated him. Waiting for a chance to strike back. He could have followed Simon or Inara or Book after they left Serenity, and kidnapped one or all of them just like he’d ambushed him and Wash.

This was more Niska’s style. Take someone as bait. A sadistic gift that keeps on giving. The ransom note inflicts pain in the imagination of the receiver. Torture of the hostage increases the ransom. Capture of the rescuers yields more emotional pain, and, of course, more torture. ‘Exquisite. Yes?’ Mal could hear Niska say in his head.

 

“We don’t know what’s there. Could be more hijacked meds, a safe, or even a hostage. Dakhla’s home to a rare mineral. Perhaps it’s some new explosive or fuel. Whatever it is, it’ll be locked and guarded. Get your tools people.”

“Also,” Zoe added to Mal’s order, “They know we’re coming. So we’re gonna act like new hires. Overalls. No aloha shirts. No frilly dresses.”

Wash and Kaylee looked innocently around the room like they didn’t know what Zoe was talking about.

“To stay off their radar we’re also going to split up. If the miners see us working together, they’ll know it’s us.”

“Miners? More like Niska’s men in hard hats,” scoffed Jayne.

Zoe finished, “We pick some locks, locate the goods and move whatever it be out. Oh, and put on your walking shoes. Closest safe landing site is six klicks away and we can’t take the mule.”

 

*     *     *

 

The gang crested the last ridge between them and the mining complex. They surveyed the area. The worker barracks lay at some remove from the main buildings. Mal signalled to move there. The barracks would shield their final approach.

When they got to the barracks, Wash tapped on Zoe’s shoulder and signalled ‘Stop.’ They held up. Wash carefully pushed open the back door of the building and peeked inside. He looked back at Mal and motioned ‘One sec.’

Mal nodded reluctantly, ‘OK. Be careful.’

Wash ducked into the building and quickly reappeared wearing a yellow hard hat. He held four others in his arms and handed them out.

Kaylee smiled and tapped the top of her hat twice.

Now they split up.

 

Kaylee took to the northwest building. She had noticed it was topped with a cortex antenna. Terminal inside. Maybe she could unlock some doors remotely, she thought.

Coming around the corner of the building she discovered a miner standing outside its door.

“Foreman wants to see you,” Kaylee said.

The miner shrugged and shuffled away.

 

Wash circled around and came at the camp from the other side. A shack there needed investigatin' but a miner blocked his way in. Wash turned his back and took out his cortex uplink. He sent a quick text to the company bulletin board.

“Tuesday... is pizza day. Come early. The mess.”

Dwank. Wash heard the notification arrive in the nearby miner’s pocket. The miner stepped back into the shack to check his messages.

In the middle of the compound another miner stepped away from his post too.

Wash walked into the shack.

‘Ooh, a terminal. Maybe I can unlock some doors remotely!’

 

Jayne crept around the back of the small building at the southwest corner of the complex. He peeked around the corner of the building. There was a door within reach but it was padlocked. A miner stood down the way.

Jayne reached around the corner and pulled at the lock. It wasn’t latched. With unnecessary stealth he slipped into the building. It was empty except for a crate.

Jayne lifted the crate’s lid. A knife!

‘Could use a sharpen,’ he thought, ‘but nice hilt.’ He picked it up. ‘Good weight. Pretty valuable too.’ He turned it in his hand. ‘Probably not what Niska was talkin’ about.’

 

An L-shaped building lay at the fourth corner of the mining complex. Zoe came at it from the north. Mal from the east.

Zoe tried a lock at the back of the building. It was going to need some persuasion to open so she kept moving, looking for another way in.

Mal moved around the other side of the building. Across the way was the main building of the complex. He watched while a miner guarding one its doors walked away. Looked like the guy was checking his cortex uplink.

As he walked away, Mal spotted a pulse rifle slung over the back of the miner.

‘Curious.’

Mal moved across the yard and tried the lock on the door. It was open!

 

Inside the second control shack, Wash stepped up to the terminal he’d discovered. The miner in the corner of the shack was still checking his messages.

While the miner tapped at his uplink, Wash tapped at the terminal. He located the ‘electronic locks’ screen and hot-wired open the south door of the main mining building. ‘Biggest building's likely got our prize,’ he thought.

Wash left the the shack the way he’d come in.

The miner was still heads down, lost in his uplink.

 

Mal stepped into the mining building. An elevator cage stood in the middle of the large room. On either side of it conveyor belts ascended and descended at steep angles. Their motion made a din. Mal tried to scan the room but pillars and travelling drive belts blocked much of his view. He also couldn’t see well in the dim light. Such windows as the structure had, were high above him.

Slowly his eyes adjusted to the light and he began moving carefully around the room. No crates. No safe. He came upon a chair beside a workbench. Dirty cups and plates littered the bench. Several short ropes lay on the ground beside the chair.

Mal felt a presence behind him. He turned and ducked just as a dark figure took a swipe at him. He was standing in one of the few shafts of light in the building but his assailant was not.

“Mal?” said a confused voice.

“Who wants to know?” said Mal levelling his revolver at the shadow.

A familiar figure stepped into the light. A thin, tired but visibly relieved Simon Tam. Simon’s mouth was agape, his eyes incredulous. He gestured right, then left. His mouth moved but no words came out.

“What are you doing here?” he finally said.

“What are you doing here? replied Mal.

“Trying to escape,” said Simon. “Where are we? Can you get me out of here? I’ve been stuck here for three days.”

“And River?” Mal asked.

“She's fine,” Simon replied. “I left her in good hands when I left our hideout.”

“We’ll get you out of here. The rest of us are here too. We got a tip that something we wanted was here. Guess they meant you!”

“Tip from whom?”

“Niska.”

“Niska? I don’t think he’s behind this. I’m sure these are Blue Sun S.S.”

“What do Special Security want with you?”

“I was poking around one of their research facilities on Athens. It had the kind of equipment that might have been used on River.”

“You need to be more careful, doc.”

“I was careful,” Simon protested, “though clearly not enough.”

“S.S. would explain the pulse rifle I saw outside,” said Mal looking over his shoulder. “There’s six or seven men outside. Miners, and it seems, a few undercover S.S. You fit to make a run for it?”

“I am now,” said Simon acknowledging Mal’s presence. “I cut myself out of that chair just before you came,” he said rubbing his wrist, “but they haven’t been rough on me. Seems like they’ve been waiting for another team to show up.”

“Well let’s get you outta here before they arrive. S.S. interrogators aren’t the friendliest folk I ever met.” Mal nodded at the door. “When I say run, run.”

*     *     *

 

Simon threw open the door in front of him and started sprinting for the edge of the complex.

Somewhere, someone hit the alarm. All heads turned to the escaping hostage.

Worse still, a new figure strode around a corner. He wasn’t dressed in overalls. No pretence of disguise, just a smart suit of the type inners wore. For some reason he also wore a pair of blue gloves. As the man walked toward Simon, he took a small device from his vest pocket. He extended his arm and Simon stopped running in his tracks and doubled over in pain. The agent turned the device ninety degrees with a snap of his blue hand and Simon stumbled, seemingly involuntarily, toward the agent.

The miner Mal had witnessed carrying a pulse rifle snapped the weapon off his shoulder with military precision and blasted Simon. Bwong.

Simon buckled again, but instead of being thrown by the blast, he remained where he was, hands on knees, struggling to breathe.

The door of the northeast building slammed open and another miner with a blaster ran out and fired at Simon. Well out of range, the shockwave from the weapon dissipated before reaching Simon. Still, Simon flinched at the violent burst of sound focused on him.

A miner who had been standing nearby pulled two chisels from his overalls and ran toward Simon. He winded himself, however, and stopped just short of hammering Simon.

As Simon was swarmed, Mal exited the main building and took a running shot at the S.S. officer who’d just blasted Simon. He missed.

 

‘Blasters?’ Zoe thought. ‘What’s going on?’

Zoe ran between buildings to get a view of what was happening. She saw a figure doubled over next to two assailants. A third, a few steps away from the man, held a pulse rifle. Another, a few steps from her, also had a pulse rifle. A close blaster is a deadly blaster.

‘I don’t know who that poor fella is but no one deserves to have their head split like a watermelon.’

Zoe raised her mare’s leg carbine. She steadied it, took a slow breath, and fired at the miner furthest from her. It was a long shot. Her bullet found its mark.

 

Kaylee ran out of control shack one. She’d been about to hack the terminal there but the unmistakable sound of blaster fire drew her to investigate. A miner with a blaster was standing outside the building opposite her. Zoe was there too. They were both pointing their weapons south, around the corner of the main building.

“Hey mister!” Kaylee yelled at him, “What’re you shooting at? Shouldn’t you be diggin’ or somethin’? Are we supposed to be diggin’ with blasters ’stead of picks now?”

The miner moved toward Kaylee but kept his weapon trained on whatever was happening around the corner.

 

Unlike Kaylee, Wash had a sightline to the chaos. He’d seen Simon burst from the mining building only to be stopped by the skinny man with blue hands.

Wash ran to Simon’s aid and took a swing at the skinny man, but his arms felt like rubber and his blow didn’t land.

“Hang in their doc,” Wash said to Simon. “We’ll get you out of here. Do you feel woozy? I feel woozy. I’ve got the strangest sensation running round me. Not at all pleasant.”

Wash doubled over. “Good to see ya, by the way,” he said looking sideways at Simon.

As he tried to get air into his lungs, Wash spotted Zoe in the distance. He waved her away. Instead, she moved several steps closer.

 

Kaylee heard footsteps behind her. An unarmed miner ran past her. Like Kaylee, he couldn’t see the action but wanted to join.

“Is it break time already?” Kaylee threw her voice at the runner. “I’m new here. Could you walk me to the mess? I hear the coffee’s not half bad.”

“Coffee sucks,” said the miner turning around and taking interest in the new pair of overalls, “But there’s pizza for lunch.”

He walked back to the new girl.

 

On the south side of the main building, two more miners raised blasters and fired at Simon. They were trigger happy too. Too far from their mark and their weapons were ineffective.

Jayne, way to the south, stepped into daylight with his new knife.

“Gunfight!”

He smiled, pocketed the knife and unpocketed his revolver, his brand new (new to him) Frontier Model B, the very same steel that Mal relied on. He’d finally found one after years of looking. Always wanted to try one, but Mal had a no loaners policy with his Model B, which, irksome as it was, Jayne understood and respected. “A man gets attached to a gun,” he always said. “No one touches Vera, so I’s understandin’ of your Model B, even if it don’t have a name.”

Jayne raised his new gun to his eye and sighted along its long barrel. He felt cocky and aimed past the two miners closest to him. He gently squeezed Violet’s trigger and put a bullet in the left shoulder of a miner standing well beyond and next to some strange fella with blue hands.

 

Mal continued his momentum out of the mining building and ran up to the blaster-wielding S.S. goon closest to Wash. He turned his sergeant’s voice on, turned it up to eleven and started dressing the man down like a recruit.

“Do you not understand what we’re mining here, son? Do you not understand the explosive properties of dakhlanite? Was I seconded to this godforsaken moon to be blown up by some unregulated, trigger happy, flat foot who forgot to read his workplace safety sheets today?”

“No sir. No,” shouted the S.S. officer snapping to attention.

“Did you read your workplace safety sheets today?”

“No sir. No.”

“Do you know the proximate safe range for blaster fire and dakhlanite?”

“No sir. No.”

“You are dismissed,” pronounced Mal.

The miner shouldered his rifle, turned and marched in the direction of the barracks.

The man in fancy pants who was holding his arm rigid above Simon and Wash turned his head and looked quizzically at Mal. He looked exhausted. As he turned, he relaxed his arm.

Simon and Wash inhaled suddenly and deeply. Their bodies softened and they caught their breath.

 

Zoe was now closer to the group that included her husband. Wash was fumbling with his med kit. He handed it to the other man who Zoe finally recognized as Simon.

‘Interesting,’ thought Zoe, ‘But words can wait.’

She shot the miner standing above Wash and Simon. Then the creepy man in the suit. Two foreheads. Two bullets. Two bodies.

Mal moved around the corner of the main building and killed the first S.S. officer he saw there. He was also parsimonious with his lead.

Jayne took out the second miner with two shots. ‘More bullets, more fun.’

Zoe walked backwards a few steps without turning around. ‘One more blaster back there.’ She unclipped a grenade as she went. When she got to the corner of the building, she leaned back and looked over her shoulder, then tossed the grenade.

Kaylee had retreated to the control shack. Her attempts to distract the miners in her area had worked but only temporarily. She wanted to stop them again, but they were now moving back toward Zoe and all the gunfire.

Boom.

‘No they weren’t,’ realized Kaylee.

She peeked out of the shack to make sure they were dead. ‘Yup.’

She took off her hard hat and ran to Zoe.

 

“What’s been going on?” Kaylee asked.

“You better go see,” said Zoe.

Kaylee looked around the corner and saw Wash and Mal talking to someone. The three of them were laughing and slapping each other on the back. Well, not the new guy. He was smiling but a little stiff.

“Simon!?”

Kaylee's hard hat slipped from her fingers and landed in the dirt. She ran and jumped into Simon's arms.

Simon turned and caught her as she wrapped her arms and legs around him.

Kaylee tucked her chin over his shoulder and held his head as she hugged him tight. “Are you OK? That was an awful lota gunfire and blasters. I didn’t know you were here, or I’d a come sooner.”

“I’m OK,” said Simon pulling her tight. “Not a scratch.”

 

“Doc’s back?!” said Jayne joining the group.

Simon adjusted his grip on Kaylee and twisted to face Jayne.

“Doc, I got this pain in my shoulder ya gotta look at. Got shot in the arm but not the shoulder. It’s a puzzler.”

Kaylee leaned back to take in Simon’s face. She locked her heels behind his back and stretched her arms straight on either side of his neck.

“Hello everyone,” Simon said looking around the group past Kaylee's head and shoulders. “I’d be happy to look at your shoulder Jayne as soon as I...” his eyes met Kaylee’s, "I..."

“Great. And my tooth...”

Zoe interrupted, “Shut up, Jayne. Let the kids kiss.”

 

next episode...

 

When I saw that one of the options for this mission was freeing a hostage, I knew it was time for Simon to rejoin the crew. The narrative set-up for this story was a lot simpler than for the previous one where I had to contrive to get Wash into Kaylee’s pink fluffy dress. I created a misdirect involving Niska. Just what is he up to helping Mal? What is Niska’s objective?

Even more fun, I included the Hands-of-Blue. At the first Event roll in the game, we rolled a 1: reinforcements. This added an extra goon to the board. The cowboy still in the game box was The Roper. Onto the board he went. His power is to pull characters to him after hitting. This inspired the new power of the Hands-of-Blue device, a telekinesis when the device is twisted.

I should have written a second Hands-of-Blue agent into the story to be true to Two-by-Two, but couldn’t think of business for them. I could have repurposed an existing goon to give Blue-Hands #2 agency, but I like to derive the story completely from gameplay so that would have been a stretch.

While writing up this mission, I realized we’d cheated again. Zoe shot at the goons beside Simon and Wash. Can’t shoot into a brawl. We always seem to miss at least one rule each game. Guess we’re still learning. Luckily, Jayne was using Mal’s gun for this mission which allows you to shoot into brawls, so his shot into the crowd was legal. (Mal loves using the Cavalry Revolver because it lets him move and shoot on the same action.)

Kaylee’s skill at moving visible goons and Wash’s skill moving Zoe continue to be critical to the team’s success. And they’re super fun to script.

This mission also gives you the option to undertake Negotiate tests to move goons. This is to help move them away from locks. You can’t challenge a lock with an adjacent goon. As with the last mission, we got lucky with some unlocked doors. But Mal moved a goon away from Simon using a test. Best of all, the particular test we drew allowed us to remove the goon from the board completely. The narrative flourishes of this game are so rich.

July, 2023

---

Firefly Adventures

   Episode 19: Raging River

TBA — pre-empted by network sports
 

 

---

Firefly Love Letter

   Episode 24: Good Help Is Hard to Find

In which Jubal Early returns to Serenity for River and Simon Tam, this time with help, which help repeatedly bungles River's capture until, after many interrogations of Serenity's crew in competitive fashion between Jubal and his helpers, River and Simon are bound and removed from Serenity by Jubal, the only surviving member of his expedition.

published here on EBiC   February, 2015

---

Curiosity  (Firefly Clue)

   Episode 25: Dobson Does the Dishes

“Mal?” Wash propositioned over the intercom, “Could you drop by the bridge?”

“Kinda busy with a bowl of noodles at the moment, Wash.”

“You’re gonna want to see this. We might have a lead on Simon and River.”

Simon and River had been bound by law a week ago by bounty hunter Jubal Early.

‘Not bound, kidnapped!’ Kaylee had said, ‘Bounty hunters ain't lawmen. They’re low down, money grubbin’, friend snatchin’, girlfriend beatin’ scum.’

‘Girlfriend?’ Book had said.

‘You know what I mean.’ Kaylee had blushed. ‘He tied me up. I was real scared.’

‘I know what you meant, dear girl,’ Book had replied kindly.

 

That was last Sunday, bad day, the day Jubal returned to Serenity with goons and made off with River and Simon. In the days since, Kaylee had become a tyrant, furiously coordinating repairs to Serenity double time, Jubal having disabled their engines and comms to make his escape.

Serenity fixed, their search for the kidnapped had begun. The Cortex showed the Tam’s bounties still unclaimed. Inara’s veiled enquiries at Alliance bureaux, major and minor, came up short. Book asked Mal to clear the bridge before he sent an encrypted wave to an ‘old friend.’ He would not say whom. When Kaylee asked him about the reply, he just shook his head in disappointment.

 

Mal put down his bowl and walked quickly to the bridge. “What have you got?”

“Probably nothing. Could be I just hooked an old boot. But it’s out of place.”

“Like an old boot?”

“Like something doesn’t add up. Remember that hùn dán Fed, Dobson?” Wash said, swivelling. “Sent an encrypted wave from Serenity after he came aboard on Persephone?”

“Remember him? He shot Kaylee! Threatened River! I shot ’im in the eye and left him to Reavers!”

“Ya, that guy. Delightful fellow. I just picked up the same encryption key he was using when he creeped us.”

“Can you trace it?”

“I’ll get Kaylee on it.”

 

Kaylee traced the signal to Whitefall, right where they’d left Dobson for dead. Had he lived? Kaylee rooted through her junk bin and found Dobson’s old Cortex device. She extracted the key it contained and decrypted the message Wash had stumbled upon.

‘Early. Meet me at The Jakes. Tuesday. 10 p.m. Bring the Tams. I’ll pay double.’

 

The Jakes was a dive in Fall City. It was popular with disreputable folk, which meant pretty much all of Whitefall. All sorts of shady business went on out back of it. Whitefall was two days away at full burn. They’d just make it in time to complicate Dobson’s swap.

Mal waved Patience.

“I need a favour Patience.”

“Mal! Well let me check my book. Can’t quite remember if I owe you one.”

“You owe me Pat and you know it.”

“What can I do for you Mal?” Patience said with a sigh.

“I need the help of some of your boys on Tuesday. Two of my crew were snatched and are being sold between private parties. I aim to get ’em back but I don’t know how much muscle the buyer has.”

“Sure I can help. I don’t truck with slavers.”

“It’s more of a bounty-revenge thing, but I appreciate the help.”

“Bounty, eh? How much? Maybe I need some of that action.”

“Gorrammit Patience. I’m asking for help with my people. They ain’t a payday. Treatin’ ’em as such is as good as slavin’.”

“Just business Mal. Why ya always got to be so touchy?”

Mal leaned closer to his screen and glared incredulously.

“But you’re right,” Patience continued. “For folks like us makin’ a livin’ on the wrong side of the law as oft as on the right, bounties are like slaver fees. Sell your people to the Alliance? I don’t think I will. Least not this Tuesday,” she said with a wink. “Three of my finest do? One’ll be wearin’ a top hat.”

“Didn’t Jayne shoot him?”

“Same hat. Different fella.”

“Thanks Patience.”

“I’m getting out my book and markin’ us even...”

“My people back,” Mal interrupted, “with your help, we will be.”

Mal closed the wave. Zoe said, “I don’t like it, sir. That bounty’s gonna gnaw at her. I wager she’s running all our names through the Wanted’s right now. Lord help us if she connects us to River and Simon and sees their poster. That sum will change her tune on thieves’ honour.”

“Ya,” chirped Jayne. “When was the time Patience didn’t sell out friend or relation?”

“You can’t risk it cap’n,” Kaylee pleaded.

“When did you all get onto the bridge?” Mal said turning. His whole crew was gathered around just out of the field of view of the wave screen. “And, no, we ain’t really gonna rely on Patience. Money’s involved. She’ll betray us sure as there’s a bullet hole in that top hat. Just gonna keep her busy so she won't land in our ointment. Now we know she’ll be at The Jakes looking for us and looking for a hostage trade.”

“And when we walk into the bar, that’s going to help us how?” Wash asked.

“We’re not going to Dobson,” Mal levelled. “He’s coming to us.”

 

When they set down on Whitefall, Mal had Kaylee message Jubal using Dobson’s device: ‘Serenity is here! Fall City, south docks. You bring the Tams, I’ll bring the guns. 7 p.m. tonight.’

‘You are inviting trouble Dobson. I do not relish another encounter with that crew. They are highly irregular. You bring the credits you promised and we're done. Your revenge is your business not mine,’ came the reply. ‘Good,’ Kaylee thought, ‘My re-route is working.’

Kaylee started wiring everyone up. They knew Mr. Meticulous would stake out Serenity well before the new, phantom, hand-off with Dobson.

“If we’re going to stalk the stalker,” Wash announced to the group, “we’re going to have to dress up. Jubal’s mighty familiar with all of us.” And with that he threw on his fake moustache. Wash loved wearing it any chance he could it annoyed Zoe so. He called it Maurice.

“Same name as he gave his real caterpillar,” said Zoe shaking her head. She left the common room and returned in her ratty helping-Kaylee-below-decks clothes. She looked at Wash trying to annoy him right back.

“Don’t bother me none,” Wash said, “I like a gal sportin’ a little grease.”

“Well Wash, I had no idea,” flirted Kaylee.

“Not what I meant, Kaylee! Zoe. Not what I meant!”

The rest of the crew likewise dressed down and altered their appearance. Book even took off his collar.

Kaylee finished her work, and everyone took a corner of the docks.

 

Book spotted Jubal’s ship first. Jubal climbed down from it like a cat, and the Shepherd started tailing him through the dusty berths. Jubal walked a crooked path like someone used to being followed. Zoe watched Book effortlessly blend with the dock workers and freight to avoid Jubal’s shoulder checks. ‘Where’d he learn to do that?’ she thought.

Jubal turned and started walking toward Zoe. She turned her back and started to unload a dolly that an actual grunt had just loaded.

“Zoe,” Book said in low voice through the radio, throwing the tail to her. She turned and started following Jubal. After a few corners she threw to Wash.

Slowly Jubal zigged and zagged closer to Serenity. He made his final approach from the rear. As he put his hand on the service ladder amidships, intent on cracking Serenity’s service hatch 30 feet above, Mal put his gun against the back of Jubal’s head and cocked its hammer.

“Hello sneaky,” Mal said, “We’ve been expecting you.”

 

“Why Captain Reynolds,” Jubal said raising his hands without turning, “Seems like you’ve got the drop on me for a change.”

“Pleasant feeling indeed.”

“Seems, Captain. Not everything in this world is as it seems. Senses are fallible. Expectations can fool us. Perceptions may lead even the keenest mind...”

“Get to the point, Jubal.”

“I click this button,” Jubal twisted his right hand to reveal a small fob, “And my ship fills with nerve gas killing my hostages.”

“Seems you’re under a misapprehension yourself, Jube. Simon and River aren’t on your ship any longer. Now hand me your gun and that clicker.”

Jubal complied, then threw himself into the air with one leg and launched a kick at Mal’s head with the other. It was a graceful flying twist that Inara recognized as a martial style taught at House Madrasa and other Companion abbeys. She was standing to Mal's left, shifted her weight to her far leg and executed the counter. She thrust her arm between Jubal's spinning legs, arresting his movement and causing him to fall to the ground. He lay there flat on his back.

“Hello Jubal,” Inara growled with contempt.

Mal straightened himself from mid-duck and retrained his gun on Jubal. Side by side, he and Inara towered over the downed man.

Without taking his eyes off Jubal, Mal leaned toward Inara slightly and said, “Thanks.”

“My pleasure,” Inara replied brightly also not taking her eyes off Jubal.

“Fine,” said Jubal. “You got your people back. May I go now?”

“Let’s take a walk to your ship. We want to watch you take off,” Mal replied.

When they got to Jubal’s ship, Mal said, “One more thing,” and prodded Jubal with his gun. Jubal started to climb the boarding ladder of his tiny brigantine and Mal followed. Inara stayed on the ground pointing Jubal’s gun at him as he climbed. With her other hand, she took the poison gas fob from her sleeve and held it up for Jubal to see. Jubal was busy unlocking the ship manually and didn’t notice her gesture, but Mal did. His eyes widened.

“In case he tries anything,” Inara explained.

“I’ll be in there too, you know,” Mal protested.

Inara replied with a shrug, “Hold your breath.”

Mal entered the ship behind Jubal. Inara watched them through the ship’s tall, wide, convex bridge window. Jubal didn’t try anything. He hovered over the ship’s console for a minute then Mal bound his arms behind him, and tied him to the pilot’s chair. Mal spun the chair so Jubal’s back was to the window, stood back and punched him hard in the face. Jubal’s head and shoulders fell forward but the rope around his chest kept him upright.

Mal climbed down from the ship.

“Did he send the message?”

“Just as dictated. Dobson should storm Serenity shortly.” Mal tapped his earpiece, “Back to the ship everybody. Jayne take care with River and Simon. Phase one is done.”

 

Book and Kaylee stood in the open cargo bay. Zoe and Wash walked up the ramp toward them.

Wash said, “I’ve got to get to the bridge in case Mal wants the thrusters on when Dobson arrives. That gag never gets old.”

“OK hon,” Zoe said and gave him a kiss.

Jayne came around the corner with Simon and River on each side of him, his arms around their shoulders. They moved slowly as a group. Kaylee jumped up and down and waved at them. The sight of Serenity and Kaylee energized River. She broke away from Jayne and ran to Kaylee. They hugged and jumped. Simon waved weakly at everyone on Serenity’s ramp. Book took him into his arms and said, “Welcome home son. Come inside. You’ve had quite the week.”

Zoe said, “Everyone get on board. We’re expecting company.”

Mal and Inara arrived last. Zoe went to close the cargo bay door after they were inside but Mal said, “Leave it open.” He dragged a crate to the edge of the ramp, and sat down to wait.

 

Mal sat in the open airlock for four hours. Dobson didn’t appear. Dobson’s posse, if he had one, didn’t show either. Half an hour after the original rendezvous at the saloon across town, Patience and her men showed up.

“Thought we were gonna meet at The Jakes, Mal.”

“Sorry Patience. Change of plans.”

“A gal likes to be informed when plans change. We had a date. I feel positively stood up.”

“What can I tell you? I’ve been stood up too. Guess my intel was wrong.”

“Well, I held up my part of the deal,” Patience grumped. “We’re square Malcolm Reynolds, and that’s that.”

“Fair enough, Patience. Thank you for attending.”

“Come on boys,” Patience said angrily. She turned her horse and the four gunslingers rode off. Mal contemplated the horseshoe prints in the dirt at the bottom of Serenity’s ramp. ‘Why didn’t he get to ride more often?’ he thought. ‘Who was he kidding? He hated horses. Need too much care.’

Mal finally stood, pushed the crate back into the bay, and closed the airlock doors.

In the galley Mal found everyone but Zoe and River. Zoe was still on the bridge monitoring the perimeter cameras. River was fast asleep in her bed. Inara had tucked her in shortly after she’d come aboard, and had reported, ‘No bedtime story needed,’ to Mal when she brought him tea at the start of his watch.

“Let’s call it a night, Zoe,” Mal said sticking his head through the bridge door. “I don’t think he’s going to show after all. We did the main part. River and Simon are safe. We’ll get back in the sky tomorrow bright and early.”

“Sir, yes sir.” And the two of them joined the others.

 

Kaylee was pampering Simon. Many pots of food sat on the cooker and the dining table was cluttered with dirty dishes, most around Simon’s seat.

Jayne said, “That’s a full story Doc. Glad you held it together. Sadistic duī ròu. If’n I ever seen that red devil again. Mal, good thing you didn’t take me with you to tag Jubal. I’d a put out his lights for good.”

“Don’t you worry Jayne. I put out his lights. For now. And I don’t think he’ll be bothering us anytime soon. I planted some contraband files on him. You tip off the Alliance yet Inara?”

“Yes, Mal,” Inara rolled her eyes. “I checked the Port Authority too. His ship has been land-locked. I dare say he’s in custody already.”

“Good,” Mal nodded, trying to correct his tone. “Jubal’s not going to wiggle out of this one easily.”

“Cap’n! Those files were gold. Took me ages to hack those leads,” Kaylee said with disappointment. Then her face lifted and her cheery tone returned, “Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy, tho’. I hope they give ’im a nice cellmate. One familiar with all sorts of unnatural uses.”

“Ouch. I didn’t know you were capable of sarcasm, Kaylee,” said Wash.

Book gave Kaylee a stern look.

“Well I am, and I do,” Kaylee said standing her ground. Then she started to cry. Inara rushed to Kaylee and embraced her sobbing head against her breast.

“I tell ya, Mal. I see that fella ever again,” said Jayne with an angry, confused look on his face.

Simon sat silently looking at Kaylee and Inara. He tried to speak but no words came out.

“That’s enough everyone,” Mal said softly. “It’s been a long day. We’re all safe now. Tomorrow we’ll be even safer. Back in the black. Let’s all get some sleep.”

Book cleared the table as everyone else said goodnight and shuffled to their quarters. Mal helped and when everyone was gone asked if the preacher would take watch. “Just in case Dobson does show.”

“Sure thing, captain. Do you think he harmed the boy and girl?”

“Jubal? Not a chance. I’m sure River was in his head the whole time. Might not look like it, but that one can take care of herself.”

“Truer words, captain. Truer words.”

 

Book settled into Wash’s chair. He deftly flicked a few switches on the comms console to increase the rotation of perimeter cam views. He put his fingertips together and rested his chin on them in thought. He squirmed in the chair. Stood up and beat its cushions into a different shape and sat again. After another minute, he frowned and abruptly stood up. He fetched one of the wooden chairs from the galley, set it beside the pilot’s chair, and sat down on it. The tiny chair looked less comfortable than the official one, but Book leaned back in it, rested his chin on his fingers again, and smiled.

 

Simon poured himself a cup of coffee. Kaylee walked into the galley.

“Hi,” Simon said shyly.

“Hey,” Kaylee said back gently. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine. How are you?”

“I’m fine,” Kaylee said unconvincingly.

“You seemed really upset last night.”

“I worried so much about you and River is all.”

“I didn’t know Jubal hurt you so.”

“He didn’t. Never touched me once.”

“That’s not how trauma works,” Simon said in his doctor voice. “Clinical studies show that...”

“Oh Simon,” Kaylee said and quickly left the room. Simon started after her but before reaching the bulkhead door to the fore corridor, a scream from the opposite direction stopped him and Kaylee in their tracks. They turned and ran together to the other end of the galley and the door to the cargo bay.

River was standing on the centre gangway, frozen, pointing down into the bay. In the centre of the cargo bay lay a body.

Inara stepped out of her shuttle onto the port gangway. “Go get Mal,” she said to Kaylee. Simon was already coaxing River back toward the galley.

“Dead,” River said. “Not dead. Dead. Not dead.”

Kaylee reappeared with Mal. Jayne was right behind them clutching his favourite assault rifle.

Everyone scuttled down the stairs and stood around the body. Mal rolled it over with his foot. It was Dobson. He was wearing dirty clothes, an eye patch, and the distinctive pallor of death.

“Limp but not stiff,” said Jayne seriously.

“Door’s still locked,” said Zoe from the airlock console.

“How’d he get in?” said Kaylee.

“Doc?” Mal asked.

“I can’t say how he got in, but he is dead,” said Simon taking his doctor’s mirror away from the corpse’s mouth and putting it back in his med kit.

“I can see that, Doc. How’d he die?”

“I can’t say without a taking a closer look. As you can see,” Simon paused for effect, “there are no wounds or marks evident on the body at the moment. Help me get him into the infirmary and I’ll start an autopsy if you’d like.”

“There’s no time for that,” said Book, “This was in his pocket.” He handed Mal an Alliance ident card. It was stamped, ‘Agent.’

“Shepherd’s right. The Feds could be here any moment looking for their man. Wash! Find us some desert.”

They hopped out of town and once they were beyond the range of the moon’s two Traffic Controls they hovered over a desolate patch of earth. Zoe lowered the loading ramp part way, and, for a second time, Mal and Jayne dumped Lawrence Dobson overboard.

 

Mal had a job lined up on New Melbourne way over in Red Sun. Everyone settled in for a long ride. Wasn’t the most efficient use of fuel, but Mal figured the crew could use the pause.

All anyone could talk about was the mystery of Dobson’s death.

“How did he get aboard?” asked Kaylee.

“What was the man after?” asked Book.

“What was his favourite colour?” asked Wash.

Jayne stopped sharpening his knife and slapped the table. “There’s only one question that’s important. How did he die, and who killed ’im.” Everyone turned in surprise. “And where?”

“That’s three questions, Jayne,” said Wash.

“Anyone could see he’d been dragged to where we found ’im. He wasn’t stiff yet so he musta been killed on Serenity. She was locked up tight, so...” Jayne shook his knife at everyone around the table, “One of us did the deed.”

 

Over the next few days the conversations on Serenity were hushed and atomized. Suspicions circulated. No one confessed. Finally Mal called everyone together.

“It’s time to clear the air. We all agree one of us took Dobson out. Who ever did, has my gratitude. Let’s have it. This gossip has to stop.”

No one spoke.

“I understand why no one’s fessin’ up,” Mal continued. “He was a Fed assigned to find River, find us. The heat might be on us double now he’s gone.”

“Mal’s right,” Inara said. Mal raised his eyebrows then swivelled his head to look straight at her. “Perhaps the person who did it is protecting the rest of us. The less we all know the better if we get questioned.”

“You tryin’ to say something, Inara?” said Zoe.

Inara gave Zoe the kind of look one direct woman gives another, the kind that says, ‘If I wanted to say something, I’d say it.’

“We’ve been through plenty of interrogations, all with flying colours,” dismissed Wash. “I’ve got an idea. We assemble our clues and guess. Guess wrong and you get dishes. Guess right and no dishes for a month.”

“Get out the dish script,” said Jayne. “I’m in.”

“Fine,” said Mal acknowledging the consensus around the table. “But this’ll only work if when you’re fingered and you did it, you come clean.”

Everyone nodded.

“Jayne did it!” Kaylee, River and Book shouted.

“He found ’im looking for a scalpel in the infirmary to use as a weapon. Clocked ’im with Simon’s med kit then strangled ’im, and dragged ’im into the cargo bay,” said Kaylee definitively.

“Nope,” said Jayne tossing a pile of paper notes towards his accusers. Each note had ‘dishes’ scrawled on it. The pile was kept stuffed in a cup on the dining table because it was used so often for betting on hands of tall cards. Kaylee, Book and River each reluctantly took a note.

“I did see some bruising on his neck but it was more uniform than the points of pressure Jayne’s bit mitts would have made,” said Simon.

“Hmm. A uniform bruise made by something like a rope? Or a leather necklace?” Inara said looking at Zoe.

“Is that an accusation? You itchin’ to get your hands soapy?” Zoe said to Inara.

“No,” Inara pulled up short. “I need more information. And yes, I hate dishes.”

“The wallop to the head might not be wrong,” Mal said. “I did feel a goose egg on the back of Larry’s head when we tossed him.”

“Simon could have injected our one-eyed man with something causing him to fall and bump his head? But that’s not a guess! I’m a coward like Inara,” said Wash backing down.

“River! She can kill with her brain!” Jayne declared.

River rolled her eyes and passed Jayne a note. Everyone laughed and ’round and ’round they went collecting chores and finally relaxing.

 

next episode...

 

This story is a bridge between the events of Good Help Is Hard to Find (a re-theme of the card game Love Letter) and the events of Those Left Behind (the comic book miniseries written by Joss Whedon and Brett Matthews, itself a bridge between the TV series Firefly and the feature film, Serenity).

In Good Help, Jubal returns to Serenity to try to claim River again. He brings minions to help him this time. These other antagonists represent the other players at the table competing for River during each hand. With each re-deal, River escapes so that another hand may be played —incompetent minions. At the end of the game, the winning player is declared 'Jubal' and the others, defeated minions. This conceit allows the game to map all of Serenity's crew onto the Love Letter rolls. However, for Jubal to truly win in the end, River and Simon must be removed from Serenity; at the end of Good Help Jubal flies away with the Tams bound and huddled together on the floor of his ship.

To return Simon and River to Serenity and restore the continuity of the Firefly canon, I decided to use the outline of another story I had created in the service of another board game mod, Curiosity. This is a mod of Firefly Clue, the rules of which posit that River has been turned over to the Alliance by one of her crew mates. Who turned her in? What did they use to betray her? Where on Serenity was she apprehended? Answer: no one, nothing, never gonna happen. This premise is insulting to everything Firefly. It had to be fixed.

I chose to resurrect Agent Dobson as the antagonist of the game, and immediately kill him again since Clue needs a body. Dobson sneaks aboard Serenity (again) only to be killed (again). No one confesses to the murder, so the crew sets out to investigate themselves. It was only later that I read Those Left Behind and discovered that Joss had resurrected Dobson too! Joss, Joss, Joss. Now Dobson has to die three times!

October, 2020

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© Jeff Hohner  2020-23